Laura Patryas

PhD in Psychophysics, Effective Listening, Counselling & Spiritual Care, Internal Family Systems L1, IFIO (IFS L2), IFS L3 (certified).

Nonduality & Therapeutic Relationship

What is nonduality?

Nonduality is a philosophical and spiritual concept that emphasizes the fundamental oneness and interconnectedness of all things. It challenges the perception of a separate and individual self, suggesting that reality is a seamless and unified whole. In the context of healing, nonduality offers a unique perspective and approach to understanding and addressing psychological and emotional challenges.

Nonduality recognizes that suffering often arises from our identification with a limited and separate sense of self. We tend to create divisions and judgments in our minds, which can lead to feelings of isolation, fear, and dissatisfaction. By exploring the principles of nonduality, individuals can gain insight into the nature of this separate self and begin to shift their perspective towards a more inclusive and interconnected worldview.

Healing in the context of nonduality

This involves the recognition that our struggles and challenges are not isolated occurrences but are interconnected with the larger fabric of existence. By understanding that our personal experiences are inseparable from the collective human experience, we can develop compassion, acceptance, and a deeper sense of empathy. This shift in perception can contribute to emotional healing and personal growth.

Nonduality encourages individuals to explore the nature of their thoughts, emotions, and beliefs without judgment or attachment. By cultivating mindfulness and self-enquiry, one can observe the arising and passing of mental and emotional phenomena, recognizing their transient and impermanent nature. This understanding can lead to a reduction in suffering and a greater sense of peace and well-being.

Nonduality invites individuals to transcend good/bad thinking and embrace the paradoxes and contradictions inherent in life. It encourages the integration of opposing forces, such as light and dark, joy and sorrow, and love and fear. This integration can foster a more holistic and balanced approach to healing, acknowledging and embracing the entirety of human experience.

Nonduality complements and expands upon existing therapeutic modalities, offering a broader perspective that can enhance the healing process. Each individual's journey towards healing is unique, and nonduality provides an additional tool for self-discovery, self-acceptance, and inner transformation.

Client-practitioner relationship: Seeing through the eyes of love

The nondual understanding allows the practitioner to see the client through the eyes of unconditional love. When the client feels seen for who the truly are, profound transformation takes place. This kind of relational connection becomes a portal for the client to see themselves clearly, transcending the layers of limiting beliefs that had prevented them from realizing their inherent perfection. Experiencing this relational, embodied, warm, safe, and unconditionally loving positive regard is immensely healing. It goes beyond the intellectual realm of reading books and delves deep into the core of one’s being.

We carry wounds in relationship, and it is in relationship that we find healing. I find immense joy in witnessing the palpable power of this process in my practice, as I observe the frozen armour of negative beliefs melting away, allowing for a softening and a child-like smile to emerge. Being in the presence of unconditional love (whether it's from a friend, therapist, loved one, pet, or even a tree) holds immense value. When we are witnessed and recognized for our inherent beauty, healing becomes a joyful journey.

Holding space

Nonduality allows the practitioner to hold space for another with the understanding that all beings already exist within the great perfection that is our shared true nature. There is no need to fix anyone, for we are all expressions of the same sacred unity.

The practitioner holds spaces as awareness, boundless and free of agenda. We meet the client in openness and compassion, not clouded by judgments of brokenness. Our role is to be a clear mirror, reflecting back their wholeness so they may remember who they truly are.

As we listen deeply with an unguarded heart, we allow our client the freedom to unfold in their own way and timing. We allow our presence to be the healing energy and offer interventions only where appropriate or necessary. We recognize there is great wisdom within each soul. Our task is not to give strict advice or dictate the client’s path, but to hold the space for our client to access their own inner guidance.

Nondual practitioners let go of desired outcomes, allowing unforeseen blessings to emerge. We do not cling to how things should be but rather intuitively tap into an eclectic approach that allows new possibilities to reveal themselves in the stillness. Holding space with patience and trust allows insight to dawn like the morning sun after a long night. Sometimes healing comes through tears. Sometimes it comes through silence. We trust the mystery of each soul's journey, as we walk alongside them as a reminder of their wholeness, already complete just as they are.

Interconnectedness and ancestral wounds within healing

Our cellular life begins in the womb of our grandmother, revealing the deep unity between us across generations. Though we may appear separate in form, at the deepest level we share an intergenerational consciousness - we are interconnected expressions of the same life force. When we honour our intrinsic unity with all our ancestors, we touch the infinite web of life that links us beyond time and space. Healing one strand sends ripples through the whole. As we mend wounds in our own hearts, we help mend ancestral wounds passed down through our family, inner and outer. Across time, our consciousness is one, eternally emerging from the same source. To heal is to realize there was never any separation - only the ephemeral forms of one interconnected family, whatever our blood or name. The more we embrace this unity, the more love flows through our entire ancestral tree.

What is nondual IFS?

A therapeutic approach integrating nondual awareness and somatic experiencing with the IFS model. It recognizes an omnipresent Self manifesting as both particle and wave concomitantly, with the wave-state of Self present as an ongoing reality not limited to meditative or altered states. Nondual IFS views parts as expressions of underlying awareness rather than separate entities, addresses multiple aspects of psyche simultaneously, and extends healing to collective levels, acknowledging universal interconnectedness.

What are the key features of nondual IFS?

1. Omnipresent Self: The Self is always present and unobscured. While burdened parts may blend with Self-like parts, creating a sense of overwhelm, the true Self remains fully accessible, existing in both particle and wave states simultaneously. Healing occurs spontaneously when Self-like parts fully surrender to the Self's unwavering presence.

2. Continuous Wave-state: The wave-state of Self is an ongoing reality, not confined to specific meditative or altered states.

3. Nondual Awareness Integration: The approach emphasizes recognizing nondual awareness throughout the healing process, integrating body, mind, and spirit through the 8Fs framework.

4. Simultaneous Parts Attention: Multiple parts can be addressed concurrently, rather than sequentially.

5. Non-hierarchical Structure: There's no hierarchical relationship between Self and parts. Parts are viewed as expressions of the same underlying awareness, not separate entities to be managed.

6. Collective Healing: The healing process extends beyond the individual, addressing existential concerns and recognizing the interconnectedness of all beings.

Nondual IFS protocol

Below are the steps of nondual IFS protocol. Keep in mind that these steps are not hierarchical or sequential. We could equally start at 8, or begin at 1, get to 5 and return to 1 again. This is the intuitive, non-attached essence of nondual approach to therapy, it has no goals. It simply allows what is here and now. We start with the premise that we already ARE the peace, love and fulfilment we seek:

1. Feel—Tune into the bodily felt sense of your inner parts, energies, thoughts and emotions with tenderness. Naming them can help. Stay here as long as feels natural.

2. Feel-through—Inquire "Am I this part, thought, emotion, sensation?" Sense the presence that remains when each part is felt-through deeply. This helps uncover your true Self.

3. Field—Open to all parts from the spacious field of Self's awareness that underlies all experiences, thoughts, and sensations.

4. Friend—With unconditional friendship, attune to and embrace even extreme parts, listening to their stories and core beliefs.

5. Flow—Sense the Self harmonizing and flowing with different energies, allowing the paradox of individuality and oneness.

6. Fluid—Notice the fluid boundaries and lack of separation between Self and parts, inner and outer.

7. Freedom—As integration unfolds, feel the freedom of open, peaceful flow within the universal field.

8. Fulfilment—Experience the richness of this present moment without craving any other state.

More information on the 8Fs protocol in this video: https://youtu.be/yMgv_UqyVu4?si=sZ1cf-rIatUYYODP

"As a professional working in a high-stress environment I was struggling with anxiety and burnout. Seeking help from Laura was a turning point in my life. She had a novel and compassionate approach and I learned valuable coping strategies. She helped me regain my mental and spiritual well-being and improve my overall quality of life. I am forever grateful”. RS (male, thirties).

“Over a period of 6 months Laura has been my guiding light during one of the darkest moments of my life. She created a safe space where I could share my deepest fears without feeling judged. I loved the sound healing and voice work which unblocked something ancient in me. It was a total love-buffet working with her”. LR (female, twenties).

“I never thought I'd be the type to see a therapist. Laura was amazing helping me to deal with a relationship breakup. I was struggling with suicidal ideation and her gentle, humorous and encouraging approach definitely lightened the mood during some heavy sessions. Superhero in disguise!" AN (female, fifties).

“I am a mental health professional myself and wanted a highly qualified and approachable therapist. I am delighted to say that my experience with Laura has been exceptional. Her clinical expertise and extensive knowledge in various therapeutic modalities really helped me deal with a miscarriage. She helped me to reconnect to a higher source and my inner strength to get through a really challenging time, for me and my husband. Initially I started the therapy alone and later my husband joined in the sessions. We unearthed so many relational difficulties and dealt with our unhealthy patterns. Our relationship is much stronger now and I am happy to say that I am currently 7 months pregnant! I highly recommend Laura to anyone seeking a skilled and compassionate counsellor". RS (female, thirties).

“Thank you so much for your care and supporting me these last few months. You have helped me considerably. I never thought I would begin to feel better again after my husband died. I loved writing poetry again with your encouragement. It really helped me to process the grief. The sessions were so insightful and relaxing with the guided meditations. Thank you!” BJ (female, eighties).

“Our experience with Laura has been truly transformative. From the moment we stepped into her room we felt welcomed and heard. Laura created a safe space where we could openly express our thoughts and emotions about the most intimate things including our sex life! We learned effective communication, learned each other's needs, and found new ways to resolve conflicts. We learned that conflicts are normal but what is important is the resolution and connection. She introduced us to the work of Terry Real and IFS couples work called Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO). Laura really helped us to rebuild our relationship. We are incredibly thankful." A&M (couple in their forties).

"I am so grateful for Laura’s support in helping me deal with a breakup. She created a safe, inclusive space for my complex relationships structure. I felt I could openly express my emotions, including the struggles I face as a bisexual. Laura provided me with guidance on self-care and self-compassion. Her non-judgmental and understanding attitude towards my sexual orientation helped me feel seen and heard, without any shame or stigma. She helped me process my issues with religion and I feel that my connection to God is now stronger than ever. I am thankful for her kindness, support and validation. I am now well on my way towards my healing". GR (male, thirties).